Our Future
Children today have no one to turn to for guidance. Our country’s children are
our future; therefore, we need to protect them. Anyone can turn on their TV and
see an act of school violence almost weekly: Arkansas grade school students to
Columbine High School. We have a serious problem on our hands and no one seems
to know what to do. “Our insight that the modern study of childhood has
sharpened in great detail concerns that matter in which infant, later growing
child, is shaped, molded by those who are in charge of him [/her]. We now know
a good deal about the way in which infancy and early childhood serves as a
matrix … for everything the particular individual will be and think in later
life. In these early years of life, to put simply, both personality (or
identity) and consciousness are formed … And that of course is why the
institutional setting of this process is of such great importance.” (Berger and
Berger 149-150). We, as Americans, need to group together to teach our kids the
basic thing that separates us from animals: common love and understanding.
Children need the time of the people who influence their lives so profoundly --
their parents. Americans have created a state of total anomie for our children.
They are not part of our world. They need to become a part. Functionalists
would say that it is the schools, the family or the government. It is the goal
of this paper to touch on the three things that influence our kids the most:
family, schools, and corporations. This paper will clearly point out how each
of these three parts is in fact one big whole. If these three things begin to
work together then maybe, just maybe there can be hope for our children.
Functionalism will only work if these three things are one. The three must come
together if future America is going to survive.
The bourgeois family is going to be used as a basis. The home is America’s
temple. Since America has been founded, the middle-class family is thought of
as the father, the mother and then the children. Father goes off to work
everyday and does his job. The mother stays home all day and takes care of the
house making sure the children grow up with good “All-American” values. She is
responsible for keeping in contact with the teachers and expected to know what
their kids are doing in school. The father is not supposed to be involved. He
is busy trying to keep food on the table. Mom tells the kids how important the
learning process is and keeps them motivated. The children come home everyday,
eat their snack and mother makes sure the schoolwork is done. Dad comes home
later and they all eat dinner together. Children learn love and responsibility
from values in stowed on them by their parents. This is the happy bourgeois
family.
Unfortunately this is not what is happening anymore. Anyone that deviates from
this outrageous dominant norm carries bad stigma. Hard working Americans are
labeled as individuals who cannot succeed and need to be thrown by the wayside.
Remember the term “dysfunctional family”? Psychologists “overuse [d] the term
dysfunctional to refer to even the smallest problems in the family unit. As
such, the term [became] relatively meaningless”. (Donatelle and Davis 138). In
other words we, as Americans, threw it out because everyone became dysfunctional.
The dysfunctional family became our nation’s norm. Still, the dominant norm of
the bourgeois family rang over our head. We labeled ourselves as deviant. Using
Lemert’s theory, our American families turned into primary deviation. Then
secondary deviation occurred when we began to let our children run our
household. As stated in the beginning a “growing child, is shaped, molded by
those who are in charge of him [/her].” (Berger and Berger 48). If the child is
in charge who will shape and mold his/her?
Let us take a look at the average “happy” married family of today. Father and
mother both work nine to five jobs. Kids come home to an empty house and watch
TV. The house is a mess, which stresses Mom out. Dad comes home and wants to
eat dinner with the family. Mom’s busy trying to straighten up the house and
the kids are out doing whatever it is they want to do. Dad ends up eating
whatever Mom throws together real quick. The kids come home whenever they
please because the parents want some time to do whatever it is they could not
do the day before. He she compensates them with materials making our children
product oriented.
What about a single parent family? Kids go off to school, and the parent goes
off to work. The kids get out of school before the parent does. They get sent
off to some daycare with twenty-five kids to one person who is getting paid
minimum wage. The parent gets home late, because he/she has to work 60 hours a
week. Best-case scenario is that the kids want to get involved in an extra
curricular activity and those are very limited. The parent is tired and
stressed out from work, and he/she feels bad because he/she cannot spend time
with his/her children.
How are children going to learn anything without their parents? Children are at
risk to get thrown by the wayside by their own parents. Parents have to take
charge of their children and teach them to grow and become human beings. Jean
Piaget did a study of growth and knowledge in child development. In it he
states that “children are active and motivated learners” (Eggen and Kauchak
27). The parents need to teach them. There is not another way! The parents have
to put their children first. They can no longer be a distant second in their
parent’s life. We all know being happy is a strong virtue, but without the
happiness of our children there will be no peace. The parents have to bring
their children up. No one else is going to show each child the love and
understanding a parent can. “There is no viable alterative to the bourgeois
family for the raising of children who will have a good chance of being
responsible … individuals, nor do we see alterative arrangements by which
adults, from youth to old age, will be given a stable context for the
affirmation of themselves and their values.” (Berger and Berger 167). In
essence, it is not to be said to scrap the whole idea of the dominant norm,
bourgeois, family and start over again. They have carried our country this far.
The reason they worked is because they created a stable environment. A stable
environment needs to be our ultimate goal. To recreate this environment our
parents have to be home when their children come home. If fortunate enough to
have two parents in the same household, then both parents need to work together
to solve this dilemma. The only solution is to spend more time at home.
Another huge impact in each and every child’s life is school. Our children need
to be educated. Since schools were started in America, the mother has packed
each child his or her lunch and sent them off. They met with the teacher to
touch base and learn how to help their child learn the most while in class.
Children respected their teachers. The children went home and returned eager to
learn. There was a sense of respect for one’s school and the students seemed to
work together. School was a safe place to be. The teacher called the home to
keep the parents informed of the child’s progress.
We all know this no longer happens. Those days are long gone. There is a metal
detector in every big city school. Kids are dropping out at a record high.
Parents send their children to school only because it is free daycare. Teachers
do not call parents. Parent teacher conferences have become optional. There are
not any conferences after the fifth grade. Children have become completely
individualistic. Teachers are scared of their students. Good teachers become
hard to find because they are underpaid and overworked. In many high schools
they have a history teacher teaching math class. It has completely become a
chaotic mess. Schools are without a common goal. Now people are wondering why
kids are resorting to violence.
Now the government seems to be working on the problem. They are looking at this
huge problem in the old functionalistic way that they will never see a
solution. They need to be looking in the way that is being described. The
government wants to throw more laws at the schools. The teachers have enough
problems. They do all they can. I am sure anyone would be scared trying to stop
a student from doing anything anymore. The teachers have to work with the
parents more. “Parenthood is an essential role in society. The support given by
parents, interrelated with other agencies and, in particular, the school,
should be integrated and continuous.” (Berger 18). The words “integrated and
continuous” (Berger 18) are exactly the point of this paper. The teachers must
keep in touch with the parents. The parents must participate on a regular basis
with their children and the teacher. There should be teacher/parent social
gatherings. In elementary schools there are parent-teacher workshops. “A
workshop is one vehicle for introducing parents to home-school learning
activities.” (Berger 209). It physically shows the parents what their children
are doing in class. The problem is that once students reach the junior high
school level, these do not exist. Take a look at the Columbine High School
shooting. The parents were completely oblivious to their child’s actions at
school. There must be a unity between the home and school. The home and the
school must function together. Without this there will be no peace between
students and their teachers. Without peace there will be no unity in a school.
Without unity in a school there will be no school. Right now do we have a
school? We have kids killings kids. Education has become second. Teachers are
not peacemakers. They are educators. Let them educate!
Clearly this paper has shown how parents and schools are one unit.
Unfortunately, in America’s world of money and power this union of home and school
has become impossible. With the early bourgeois family, father worked all day.
He stayed at work late without a problem. The corporation knew they owned him.
The father had no qualms with this because he knew Mom had control at home. The
work got done and the family stayed together because Dad did his job and Mom
took care of the house.
The day of this standard is over, yet corporations do not think so. Anything
outside the dominant norm has bad stigma attached. The president of the company
says, “My home life is fine, how come yours is not?” Employees have become
expendable. If a person does not do his/her job above and beyond the boss’s
expectations they will be replaced. With the realization that people are living
paycheck to paycheck and always with the knowledge that financial ruin would be
eminent with the lack of even one month’s salary, people prioritize their work
above their family responsibilities. Working mothers and fathers rationalize
this with being able to provide their children with material things rather than
the love that children really need and desire. Another rut that gets thrown in
this mix is insurance. People stick with a job they hate only because of the
benefits the company provides. Doing something you hate day in and day out would
drive anyone to be negative. They have no freedom of choice. This country was
founded on freedom. What freedom is there in this world of today? Whatever
happened to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? Without freedom this
forces the parents to place the children’s health needs above their mental
well-being. This is not a choice. Children need and deserve both. Parents are
now trapped in their work. “The availability of high-quality, reasonably priced
child care affects not only a [parent’s] ability to stay on the job, but also
influences [his/] her morale and productivity, [his/] her record of
absenteeism, and [his/] her health and welfare … it affects [his/] her chances
for job success and advancement.” (Adams and Winston 48-9). This leads to negativism
in the relationship with their children.
It has been written time and time again that children need love and support not
materials. How do they get this without time? Companies still have the idea of
“I own you”. It is a true statement. They do own us. People are getting laid
off right and left. Parents are forced to brown nose everyone above them. They
are scared to death about loosing their job. Can you blame them? Stress is
defined as to subject to the action of external forces; to overstrain. The
external force here has become Corporate America. We need to limit the amount
of stress in each parent’s life in order for our kids to have a well-balanced
atmosphere.
Now comes the ultimate question. How can parents be in two places at once?
Almost every child has heard his or her mother or father say, “I can not do two
things at once!” What did you think as a child? “Mom/Dad must not really care.”
This is a huge problem. I have clearly shown that children need their parents
more than anything. Although it has been proven when corporations take an
active role in improving their relationship with their employees families work
productivity increases because employees believe that their employers genuinely
care. Even though this has been statistically proven most employers do not take
this approach. Big money runs this country. Politicians listen to the almighty
dollar. They run this country. So, who has the dollar? Corporations financially
back lobbyists to which politicians answer for their support; therefore, the
lack of reform in business and family relationships. Something needs to be done
about this. How do we as American citizens stop this domination of our freedom?
The American people need government support in our union with corporations. We
as a people are so scared of letting the government interfere with our family
life, but who actually runs our family? Our jobs. If we had laws about having
to spend time with our family the corporations would have no choice but to
allow this to happen. Americans are screaming for change, but do not know which
direction to take. Of course many generalizations have just been made and many
strong statements for a few simple reasons. There is not one way to capture
everything that has gone on in the last two hundred and twenty-three years, but
I have summarized what we have been creating for ourselves. We are in a state
of turmoil and something needs to be done. “Almost anything that can be said
about America must be said as a paradox.” (Coleman et al. 257). The end of our
nation’s constitution read “With liberty and justice for all.” Lawrence
Kohlberg dissects morality on several levels. He developed the stages of moral
development, which are still in use today. He explained what justice meant.
“Justice, for Kohlberg, is not a rule or a set of rules, it is a moral
principle. By a moral principle we mean a mode of choosing which is universal,
a rule of choosing which we want all people to adopt always in all situations.”
(Gousha, Smith and Taylor 42). We have lawyers redefining just and unjust on an
almost daily basis. The same rules must apply for everyone and everything.
Anyone can be set free on a technicality. Explain just law again.
A strong family policy in America is needed. How else can we spend time at
home? Switzerland has a family policy. They are not having near the problems we
are experiencing. We must give this a try. We must create a loving environment
for our children before the situation worsens.
One major reason we have not adopted a family policy is because we as a people
believe in being an individual. “The individual is perceived to be the
fundamental element in society and policy has tended to be directed towards
individuals rather than families.” (Aulette 431). The problem with this is that
in becoming our own individuals we have forgotten the rest of the nation, or
even, the rest of our own household as the Harris’s and the Klebold’s did.
Hopefully not to that extreme, but it is happening. Our children need to be
shaped and molded in order to learn to become individuals. They cannot and will
not figure it out themselves.
The point here is not to do away with free enterprise. Capitalism is how our
country is run, but if the entrepreneurs want to run our country then they have
to keep it running. In the past, they have done exactly the opposite. “Victory
depends on production; production depends on manpower behind production
machines; and men and women cannot work at the top efficiency our situation
demands, if they are not housed under circumstances that will assure their
continuing ability to stay on the job.” (Adams and Winston 81). That was stated
in 1942. The British took the idea of close nit community towns and made it
work. Americans could not. They could get not get enough private funding to make
it work. Instead the state took over and they became what everyone knows now as
“The Projects”. Not a place to go on a nice Sunday afternoon. That is the
absolute best that the strongest nation in the world could create.
Sweden on the other hand has the absolute best family policy in the world. They
simply back family housework in every way possible. While home care (day cares,
newlywed housing, cleaning services)is looked down on in America, it is strong
backed by the federal government of Sweden. Our corporations need to work on
building this country up, and not working us to death in order for us to
purchase more products so that we can buy our kids off.
“Family policy constitutes a collection of separate but interrelated policy
choices that aim to address problems that families are perceived as
experimenting in society.” (Zimmerman 3). Then the United Nations did a study
and they state, “Each policy, therefore should identify, to the extent
possible, the range of effects that it is intended to have on families. A
continuous process of monitoring and policy analysis is necessary to identify
conflicting or contradictory tendencies between different policy instruments.”
(The Family 50). What this means is that family policy will be for the benefit
of the people and it will be flexible. It will be a living document. If these
two qualifications are not met, then it is not family policy and should be
discarded. The family policy must be just in the true sense of the word as
Kohlberg described and everyone will and must be treated equally or it is not
family policy at all. This family policy need to be given some thought if our
corporations are going to combine with the parents.
I have raised some important and touching issues in this paper. My hope is to create
an awareness of key components that influence our children’s lives and
therefore America’s future; where we were, where we are, and where we need to
be. Corporations, homes, and schools must come together as a team. The
functionalistic approach will only work if home, schools and corporations are
in fact one complete unit. “We the people” has become “I the person”. This
country must become one in itself. This is the strongest nation in the world
and it is slowly falling apart piece by piece. Children have to have a stable
environment. They learn around every corner. If they see one part different
from another, they become confused and if not given much support give up. We
need to show our children that they are first in our lives. If all three of these
units are pointing fingers at the other, our entire future, the children, are
left out of the picture. If schools, homes and corporations come to learn
common love and understanding between each other then our children will too. If
we are all at war with each other then our children are at war with each other.
This is exactly what is happening now. We must put our own selfish needs aside
and work together if this country is to be successful in changing the example
we are setting for our children.