Rape culture
Many of the attitudes, beliefs, and mistaken ideas about rape have been with us
for centuries. By looking at myths, such as “women ask for it,” and “women
secretly enjoy rape,” from a historical perspective, lead us for better
understanding how they evolved. Women are still seen as the property of men,
are protected as such. Men and women are still taught to occupy very different
roles in today’s world. Men are usually in power positions, and women are seen
as passive. This socialization process is changing, but slowly.
Rape is a forced sexual intercourse against the will of the victim (Parrot,
1988). Rape is a violent act, not a sexual act. The myth that men who rape
women are sexually pathological has begun to be dispelled and replaced with an
understanding that rape is an act of anger, power and control rather than lust.
Rape is not a very pleasant subject. When people think about rape, they usually
think of a stranger with a knife hiding in the bushes. He waits for a woman to
walk by and then attacks. But that is not the only kind of rape. The majority
of victims are raped by individuals they know or who are acquaintances. This
rape is known as “acquaintance rape.” Eighty percent of all rapes are, in fact,
acquaintance rapes. One kind of acquaintance rape is called “date rape.” This
kind of rape happens when a man and a woman go out on a date together. The man
forces the woman to have sex with him when she does not want to.
Rape can happen to anyone. Women from different cultures, races, ages, and
economic level are all vulnerable. So no matter who you are or where you live.
Most rape, and specifically most acquaintance rape, happens between the ages of
fifteen and twenty-five. This is the time when young women are most likely to
date and therefore are most vulnerable to date rape. Acquaintance rape is not
limited to dating situations. It may be committed by friends of the family,
employers, friends, past boyfriends, and even husbands. The potential causes of
rape are varied and controversial. Among the factors that contribute to rape
are: decreased status of women within a society, pervasive media exposure of
sex, availability of pornographic materials, especially those involving acts of
violence, inadequate information or misconceptions regarding sexual behaviors,
and the prevalence of child sexual abuse. Statistics states that less than four
percent of all rapes are classified as “victim provoked” (Sigler, 1989).
In early age boys are taught to be more aggressive than girls are. They are
expected to enjoy playing sports. Girls are expected to play less aggressive
sports. Boys are taught that they should get anything in their ways, even if it
means using violence. Girls are taught to stay away from conflicts. Boys are
sometimes taught to have a lot of girlfriends, and not to get tied down by one
girl when they are young. They are supposed to play the field. Some boys think
it is important to date pretty girls. Girls are often taught that they should
have a steady boyfriend. They are taught to guard their “reputations.” All of
these childhood “lessons” come into play in date rape (Mufson et all, 1993).
Date rape causes many serious problems. One of these problems is how the victim
feels about what has happened to her. Often women are not even sure they have
been raped. They think maybe that they asked for it, even though they said
“no.” Whether a woman says “no” in a sexual relationship means that it depends
on the woman and the circumstance. Some women mean “no” the first time they say
it; others do not mean “no” even after saying it many times. This variation
makes it difficult for woman who means “no” for the first time she says it.
Some men become desensitized to the word because many of women in their lives
do not mean it. Of a man persists in sexual advance after a woman had clearly
said “no”, she might feel angry, frustrated, ignored, unimportant, and unheard.
She may try to make him hear her and believe her by being more forceful
physically by pushing him away. She may even scream, threaten him, try to
escape, or to resort to physical violence by hitting him to make her wishes
understood. Many women do know that they want in a sexual relationship but are
treated as if they do not (Parrot, 1988).
One of the strangest things about the date rape is that sometimes men commit
date rape without knowing what they done. They think that women really do mean
“yes” when they say “no.” They think that a woman must want sex if she goes
somewhere alone with a guy. They think that if a girl flirts with a guy, she
must want sex. They think that a girl owes a guy sex if he has spent a lot of
money on her. So, when a guy like this forces his date to have sex, he may not
even know he is raping her. He thinks he is just doing what guys are supposed
to do on dates.
In many cases, date rapes begin with a miscommunication between the persons.
Studies of dating have shown that it is common for men and women to
miscommunicate their sexual interests to others. Many studies have shown that
college men are quite likely to misinterpret college women’s behavior. When
women think they are only being friendly and not expressing any sexual interest
at all, men often think the woman is making a sexual advance. This miscommunication
occurs because males tend to misinterpret subtle aspects of friendly behavior,
such as pleasant facial expressions, standing close to male, and maintaining
eye contact, as indications of sexual interest.
One reason that men and women often miscommunicate about sex is that they
differ in their beliefs and attitudes about sexuality. Another aspect of dating
that is related to date rape is alcohol. Drinking plays a role in sexual
aggression in a number of ways. First, some men use alcohol to reduce the resistance
of a date who has not previously consented to sexual activity. Some men do this
intentionally to trick the woman into agreeing to something that she would not
agree to when sober. Most men give the role of alcohol no thought and simply
offer alcohol no thought and simply offer alcohol to their dates as part of the
normal dating ritual. The problem is that these men believe that a woman who
contents to sex when toxicated is giving her consent. Second, alcohol lowers
inhibitions and often increases interest in sexual activity. And because it
lowers inhibitions, alcohol makes it more likely that the male will do
something – such as using force – that he would not do when he had not been
drinking. Finally, drinking allows people to attribute their behavior to the
alcohol rather than their own choices (Mufson at all, 1993).
It is also important to acknowledge that men and women commit rape, both men
and women are victims, and rapes occur among both heterosexuals and
homosexuals. No one is completely free of the threat of rape. A recent
scientific study of acquaintance rape on thirty-two campuses conducted by Ms.
Magazine and psychologist Mary P. Koss showed that significant numbers of women
are raped on dates or by acquaintances, although most victims never report
their attacks. Ms. survey states that one in four women surveyed were victims
of rape or attempted rape, eighty four percent of those raped knew their
attacker, and fifty seven percent of the rapes happened on dates (Warshaw,
1988). The truth is, men are rape victims. Some experts estimated that ten
percent of the victims coming to rape-crisis centers are male even though men
are far less likely to seek help after being raped than women are. But almost
all male-rape victims have been raped by other men (Warshaw, 1988).
The recovering after rape can be a very long process. Picking up the pieces of
the victims’ life after an assault can be the most difficult challenge the
victims can ever face. In a relatively short period of time their most fundamental
beliefs can be shattered, their sense of bodily integrity, security, and basic
justice can be destroyed, and they may question their most important, intimate
relationships. But in spite of all this, their lives will continue and it is up
to them to put the pieces back together. Recovering from rape is more like
being cut. To heal from a rape it is not the traditional sense of healing, such
as breaking an arm. As you heal and time passes, the cut becomes less visible.
Many victims of a rape face rape-trauma syndrome that means an acute reaction
to a completed or attempted sexual assault. It describes possible responses to
an assault, which vary with each individual. Rape victims are shocked and
disbelieved; they face the fear that the others will think differently of them
if they know they have been attacked. They blame themselves, and they feel the
fear that no one will believe them. Being alone and nightmares are another
symptoms of rape-trauma syndrome (Parrot, 1988).
Most women who have been raped report that they believed their lives were in
danger during the assault. The act of rape confirms a woman’s worst fear that
when her life is in danger it is possible to be totally powerless to alter the
course of events. The body and mind respond in a series of complicated ways
based on the person’s feeling of intense fear, helplessness, loss of control,
and threat. Sexual intimacy can be difficult challenge during this phase. An
assault can very easily destroy the desire to be emotionally or physically close
with another person, and the relationship does not have to be sexual for the
victim to feel uncomfortable. It is important for the victims to give
themselves time to become more comfortable with sexual intimacy. They may feel
comfortable a week after the assault, or they may be uncomfortable a year
later.
Rape is not only difficult for the survivor but also for family and friends.
They can easily feel helpless when confronted with the survivor’s pain and
anger. Often people want to protect the survivor from any more suffering, so
they try to make things as easy as possible. Some families and friends are
supportive, loving, and willing to go through a long and sometimes frustrating
process as the survivor tries to regain control of her life. Unfortunately, there
are families that are not supportive at all, even the best families.
It is important to consider that rape is a community problem. Society as a
whole suffers from rape, acquaintance or stranger, violent or not. Women can
become frightened of men and afraid of having relationship with them and men
can become worried for the women in their lives. This leads to the untrusting
relationships. Those who have been raped and their families suffer from
emotional trauma that may interfere with their lives for years. And those who
tape may think it is acceptable to violate others.
It is very important that we are invulnerable to rape. Rape can happen to
anyone at any time. Rape prevention strategies help to decrease the risk, but
the risk never drops to zero percent. Awareness prevention is also very
important for potential assailants so that they know what constitutes rape.
Works cited
Internet - available: Rape Culture. May 6, 1999
http://pubweb.ucdavis.edu/Documents/RPEP/rculture.htm.
Mufson, Susan, and Rachel Kranz. Straight Talk about Date Rape. New York: Facts
On File, 1993.
Parrot, Andrea. Coping with Date Rape and Acquaintance Rape. 1st edition. New
York: The Rosen Publishing Group, Inc, 1988.
Sigler, Robert T. Domestic Violence in Context. An Assessment of Community
Attitudes. New York: Lexington Books, New York, 1989.
Warshaw, Robin. I Never Called It Rape. The Ms. Report on Recognizing, Fighting
and Surviving Date and Acquaintance Rape. New York: HarperPerennial Publishers,
1994.