Abstract
This paper will introduce the \"neonuclear\" family, homosexual
couples with children and attempt to present a brief overview of the unit.
First the nature/nurture theories will be presented to explain the origins of
sexuality; then discussing the formation of gay and lesbian families including
the reasoning for legalization of marriage and the introduction of children to
these lifestyles; including scaffolding and barriers to achieving stability
within the family. This paper will then discredit some of the stereotypes
associated with alternative families while listing repercussions of such
stereotypes; then moving onto the issue of AIDS, harassment, and behavioral
effects, ending with a discussion of societal acceptance and educational
affects.
Alternative Families: A Look at The Same-Sex Nest
Introduction
As times have changed, there is a noticeable decrease in the traditional family
structure of mom, dad, two point five kids and the family dog. This forces
society to the realization that the modern family develops over the years into
varying forms and that the \"nuclear family\" is degenerately less of
the norm. Diversity of this structure is often the result of divorce, chosen
single motherhood and other factors. However, in the more recent years, yet
another family pattern is emerging: gay and lesbian couples with children. Gay
and lesbian families are often viewed as deviant, immoral, and even dangerous
to the development of children by some people. Such beliefs in society will
create more than just moral controversy; it will surface issues of legality,
decisions of custody, and basic human rights.
The Nature Nurture Debate: Biological vs. Cultural-based Sexuality
Before one examines the issues of same-sex families, the reader should
understand the two arguments behind the origin of sexuality. It is debated if
sexuality is an innate biological process that takes place as a result of
one\'s genetic make-up or if it is a result of one\'s cultural background and
the environment in which one is raised. These two differing theories are known
as the nature/nurture debate, nature representing the biological theory for
one\'s sexuality and nurture representing environmental influences for one\'s
behavior.
The Biological Argument
From the point of conception, human beings are made up of 46 chromosomes, 23
male and 23 female. After insemination, paternal and maternal chromosomes fuse,
this fusion determines the sex of the child. The amalgamation of two X
chromosomes creates a female child, while the combination of X and Y
chromosomes, leads to the development of a male offspring. Each chromosome
contains thousands genes and each gene contains specific information about how
part of the body will be formed. Genes are responsible for almost every aspect
of the human body, from hair color to the development of our organs, organs
like the brain and it is within the brain were the biggest changes take place
when our bodies under go their sexual metamorphous, during sexual maturation.
When we reach sexual maturity, we have our first insight into our sexuality, an
insight which is genetically programmed into our consciousness through our DNA,
Whilst in the womb, it seems that our sexuality is being preprogrammed by our
genes but there are other biological developments taking place, namely the
formation of our hormones, hormones which will lie dormant until the onset of
puberty.(Radford, T. 1993)
Cultural Relevance
The nurture theory, put simply, means that our sexuality is not the result of
our biology (nature) but rather that our sexuality and characteristics are
socially learned through experience. A study by Albert Bandura et al ( 197-)
has shown how \"children learn their roles from those influential models
they observe around them, particularly their parents. If the two sexes are
treated differently and have different expectations of their behavior then they
will learn to behave differently. These differences include their gender and
this might be papering them for the kind of social roles that they find them
selves in later\" In this statement, Bandura is trying to tell us that the
essence of who we are and who we perceive our selves to be, is acquired at an
early age, through observational learning and it is through observational
learning that we develop our concept of social norms. Social norms are expected
patterns of behavior that develop in any social group over time, they become a
major part of our culture and one part of that culture is the perception of our
sexuality. (Radford, T. 1993)
Emergence of the \"NeoNuclear\" Family
Traditionally, families have always included a mother and a father. Today,
however, more and more families are being headed by gay parents; some having
children from previous marriages. Many must use artificial insemination or
surrogate mothers because it is extremely difficult for gay couples to adopt
children. There is no valid reason for refusing to call lesbian and gay headed
household families. They
fall under every conceivable criterion for identifying families and the concept
of a family.
\"They are groups of coresident kin providing jointly through
income-pooling for each others need of food and shelter. They socialize
children, engage in emotional, physical support, and make up part of a larger
kin network. Homosexual households are also typically characterized by flexible
sex role behavior and a more equal division of household labor than
heterosexual families, which is viewed as an advantage .These new definitions
of family create concerns for mental health professionals. Homosexual families
are faced with legal and social obstacles which may be unfamiliar to
counselors. In addition, professionals are encouraged to make themselves aware
of their own value systems and how those principles may influence the course of
counseling. Counselors should also be aware of the role of scientific research
in the lives of gay and lesbian families, including how it may affect legal
decisions and social conditions, and how research in this area can become less
biased by researcher influence(Cox, B. 1994)
Forming the Gay & Lesbian Family
Same-sex Marriage: Reasoning Behind The Push To Legalize
Currently there is much debate on homosexual couples right to legalize
marriage. The institution of marriage is held in a highly respectable position
as well as in a sentimental one. If one examines the Declaration of
Independence for inspiration, then it is stated that \"all men are created
equal\". Logically, one would assume this to include homosexuals. So then,
assuming they would be granted the same freedom as heterosexuals as far as
marriage is concerned.
By the simple public act of marrying, men and women achieve a substantial
package of rights and duties which, collectively provide support and
predictability to their marital relationship: 1) legal recognition of their
sexual union, 2) legal enforcement of their mutual obligation to financially
support each other, 3) automatic guardianship and custody of the children of
that union, 4) improved ability to adopt the children of others, 5) legal
enforcement of their mutual obligation to support their children, 6) legal
recognition of their constitutionality and the constitutional sanctity and
importance of their marriage, 7) insurable interests in each others lives, 8)
next-of-kin status in medical emergencies, and, 9) in the event of death, the
right to one-half of each other\'s estate.\" (Love And...1997)
Therefore, through that reasoning, it would appear banning same-sex marriages
would be discrimination. Because America was founded on the Constitution, in
which all men are created equal; one shouldn\'t have the power to deny the
basic legal right of marriage to a class of individuals due to his or her
sexual preference.
Children of Same-sex Couples
Although some gay couples do decide to raise a child in a \"nuclear\"
family, others families headed by lesbians or gay men tend to be blended.
Occasionally, a parent in a heterosexual marriage will realize that she/he is
gay then retreating to a homosexual relationship. The gay counterpart then may
act like a stepparent to the children without a full exposure of legal rights
or responsibilities that the former spouse\'s new partner will attain. In other
instances, a gay couple may cooperate in baby-making and child-rearing with
another individual or couple. Also, gay and lesbian adoption has been available
to families seeking children unable to have their own.
Helping The Child Of Non-Traditional Families Prosper
There are basic requirements for all families with children, although
alternative groups will have a select number more prerequisites. Firstly, the
needs of the child in gay and lesbian families will need to be met, allowing
him or her to develop his/her own identity and healthy levels of self-esteem.
Balancing a healthy social life for the child with both gay, lesbian, and
traditional families and supporting the child\'s identity formation when
associated in cross-gender play activities. And lastly, participating in
activities and providing resources that provide continuous cultural
sensitization.
Barriers to the family growth
Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lesbian and gay parents
and their children are often subject to prejudice because of sexual orientation
that turns judges, legislators, professionals, and the public against them,
frequently resulting in negative outcomes such as loss of physical custody,
restrictions on visitation, and prohibitions against adoption. The current
legal standing of homosexual parents seeking custody of their children remains
precarious. Courts determine custody and visitation on the basis of the \'best
interests of the child.\' Current judicial rulings reflect a bias against
awarding custody or granting visitation rights to homosexual parents, favoring
the heterosexual parent or heterosexual relative of the child(ren). (Allen, M.
& Burrell, N. 1994)
This issue however, must be examined morally and not politically. The child
should be the most important factor in the adoption process. So this cannot be
an issue of gay rights, it must instead
be looked at as who will provide a better home for the child. Placing a child
in a position where he or she will be removed from a loving home can be
traumatizing.
Parenting Skills among hetero and homosexual families
The gay rights movement of the 1970s has led to more gay parents who are
\"out\" or public about their sexual orientation. More gay and
lesbian parents want to be honest and open about their orientation so that
their children can form positive self-concepts and value difference in others.
(Koerner, M. & Hulsebosch, P. 1996).
\"Parenting skills of homosexual and heterosexual parents tend to be similar
on most measures, including general attitudes about parenting (Mucklow &
Phelan, 1979),and a variety of back ground variables . Parents also scored
alike on measures of self-concept and responses to child behavior. Lesbian and
heterosexual mothers scored alike on measures of maternal attitudes and parent
effectiveness .Both groups also equally emphasized the value of social support
from friends and family . Children from these families were also quite similar
to children from heterosexual homes. These children scored alike on measures of
moral maturity, intelligence, locus of control, family and peer relationships,
adjustment to single parent family life and self-concept .These categories are
commonly used by researchers to assess overall adjustment. Contrary to some of
the societal beliefs reviewed earlier, these children also scored alike on
measures of sexual identity and gender role preferences. Counselors should be
aware of these similarities. They indicate that having a homosexual parent does
not completely redefine the meaning of family.(Kramer, L. 1997)
Issues facing Same-sex Families
Society Views & Stereotyping
There are many homophobic individuals in today\'s society who are the main
cause of negative stereotypes against lesbians and gay parents. These negative
stereotypes often prove to be irrational and falsified, revealing that gay and
lesbian parents could be equally as fit as traditional parents. 1)\"The
accusation that majority of gay men are child molesters has been rejected in
that the overwhelming majority of child sexual abusers area heterosexual men,
who abuse both boys and girls\"(Kramer, L.1997)
2)The fear that children of lesbian and gay parents will become lesbian or gay
is irrational in that studies show that the sexual orientation of the parents
has no effect whatsoever on sexual orientation of youths. \"Examined the
sexual orientation of 82 adult sons of 55 gay men. Found that more than 90% of
the sons whose sexual orientation could be rated were heterosexual. Gay and
heterosexual sons did not differ on potentially relevant variables such as
length of time they had lived with their fathers.\"(Bailey, J. 1995)
3)The concern that the children of gay and lesbian headed families will not
develop so called appropriate gender identity or gender behavior has been
introduced. This was proved incorrect in that when comparing children of gay
parents to children of straight parents, there was no significant difference in
these two areas. (Kramer, L. 1997)
4)The last stereotype involving the fear that emotional damage will effect the
child due to coping with the issue of having lesbian or gay parents. Once again
this was proved to be false and the general psychological well being of
children in gay and lesbian households matches that of children of heterosexual
parent households.(Kramer, L. 1997)
Repercussions of Stereotyping
These common stereotypes heard frequently in today\'s society have, for the
most part, been proved incorrect .Therefore it is illustrated that homosexual
parents are repeatedly stereotyped against unfairly . Lesbians and gay men are
commonly thought of by society to have a negative influence on children. This
places an enormous strain and great pressure on same-sex headed families.
Society must come to realize that every family, not just gay headed families,
experience problems in their homes.
AIDS
Another major issue facing gay parents is AIDS. AID\'s is known as the gay
disease it has been studied and many feel that homosexuals are more prone and
susceptible to contracting the disease than heterosexuals. Many feel that the
children of gay parents are in increased danger due to the fact that AIDS is
increasingly spreading and if their parent has it then they are at high risk to
contracting it.
AIDS Phobia
This is \"strongly related to heterosexism and homophobia prejudicial
attitudes and practices against lesbian and gay men . Individuals with antigay
attitudes are far more likely than others to have irrational fears about HIV
transmission AIDS is a growing epidemic with no cure that affect millions. A
great portion of today\'s society feel that children should not be exposed to
this disease if it may be prevented. Therefore they attack these gay parents
seeing that AIDS is the \"gay\" disease. Society has to realize that
anyone may contract it and there is no one in the world that is immune to it.
It is up to gay parents as well as straight parents to assure in preventing the
contraction of this disease to any child. Also to protect themselves from
contracting it, the loss of a parent is traumatizing to a child.(Roleff, T.
1999)
Harassment & Child Safety
\"Another problem unique to homosexual couples is the experience of
gay-bashing. Gay-bashing is physical violence directed at a person based solely
on their perceived sexual orientation Indirectly, all lesbian and gay people
are affected by the fear of violence.(Eliason, M. 1997) \"Many people in
today\'s society have a negative stereotypical attitude towards homosexuals.
This influence is then passed onto their children in turn is then taken out on
peers. This especially effects those who have gay parents. That child may be
harassed at school, both mentally and physically, and teased constantly. This
may then affect the child psychologically, emotionally, and physically, either
then or later in life. (Roleff, T. 1999)
Children have increasingly become more cruel with peers which takes its toll on
the child being harassed, whether the effects are visible or not. The child
living with homosexual parents may not only be harassed for being in that
situation, but also for being gay themselves. Many have the idea that children
who grow up in a gay home become gay themselves. They believe this to be true
in that the child learns the parents\' ways and want to be just like their role
model, their parent. People have to realize that in today\'s society children
tease one another for the oddest reasons, if there is not a reason to tease or
gang up on someone, someone is sure to find or make up something just to have
something to do.\"Dealing with other people\'s prejudices continues to be
a rite of passage for children in gay families. Gays say they hope that being
honest with the outside world will ultimately increase tolerance, just as
parenthood makes them feel more connected to their communities.
(Kantrowitz,B.1996)
Affected Behavior & Emotional Development
A child of homosexual parents may also have affected behavior. Serious health
problems may incur from being a child of gay or lesbian couples. Past research
on children of lesbian or gay couples is marred by methodological problems,
including heavy reliance on self-reporting and a tendency to ignore evidence
not supporting a conclusion. Boys raised by masculine fathers feel more secure
and generally do not commit crimes. Boys of lesbians may be susceptible to this
behavior. Homosexuals also have a history of unstable relationships, so the
children may suffer family disruptions often. Another peril involved with
same-sex couples is their history of substance abuse. As a group, same-sex
couples are known for substance abuse, which may lead to a shorter life
expectancy than heterosexuals, as well as a bad influence on children (Love
And...1997)
Legalities aside, gay parents--and those who disapprove of gay families--are
also concerned about issues of the children\'s emotional development. Most
same-sex parents say they make a special effort to ensure that their kids learn
to relate to adults of the opposite sex. Psychologists say the best time to
tell kids how their families are different is either in childhood or in late
adolescence. Young adolescents-- from about ages 11 to 15--are particularly
vulnerable because they are struggling with their own issues of sexual
identity. . (Kantrowitz,B.1996)
Societal Acceptance
The Road Leading To Today
Many experts agree that homosexuality has existed as long as human beings
themselves, although the attitude towards them has undergone dramatic changes
in some countries. Accepted by many societies during Greek and Roman era, most
of the time homosexuals were considered to be sinners and criminals. In
Medieval and modern periods homosexuals were prosecuted. Enlightenment brought
some liberation, substituting death penalty for imprisonment. And, in Nazi
Germany so-called \"doctors\" tried to \"cure\"gays by the
ways of castration .Until 1973 attempts to find a cure against homosexuality,
viewed as a disease, were continued. This controversial issue can be seen even
today reaching into political campaigns.
\"Vice-President Gore says \'gay and lesbian couples should be able to
form civil unions, which would give them the same rights and benefits afforded
to married couples under state law\'. Vermont enacted such a law last April,
the first state to do so. But Gore also says he \'supports the Defense of
Marriage Act, a law signed by President Clinton in 1996 that allows states to
deny recognition to same-sex marriages performed in other states.(NBCi. 2000.)
Homosexual Education
Increasing Awareness For All Students
Teaching sex education in public schools alone has become a very controversial
subject with some parents and community members. So, one can only imagine the
reaction to the issue of teaching homosexuality in the sex education curriculum
. Is important because it affects all children. Some educators believe that it
is important while teaching sex education to help the students unlearn negative
feelings and stereotypes about gay and lesbian people (Roleff , T. 1999).
\' \"On the other hand, other educators feel certain that teaching
children to be open-minded about gays undermines the authority of the parents
who consider homosexuality to be morally wrong (Roleff, T.1999).
Providing Materials For The Alternative-family Child
Although an estimated 6 to 14 million children live with a sexual minority
parent, it is apparent that these children\'s needs are not being entirely met
by school efforts to be more inclusive. This study examined: (1) how well or
poorly the resources of elementary and middle school libraries meet the needs
of these children; and (2) what educators\' views and ideas are for
implementing curriculum changes and support services for these students.
Availability of library books and other school related materials depicting
alternative family experiences and lifestyles was assessed in a cross-section
of schools. (Rubin, S. 1995.)
Conclusion
In conclusion, with the emergence of so many new alternative family lifestyles
it is not surprising that homosexual families would be the center of so much
controversy. The issues border on civil rights to morality and ethics to
discriminating on the constitution. And, although many people do not agree with
this particular lifestyle it is not for one to pass judgment on others and
refuse them rights that he himself would refuse to give up. So, therefore it is
in this author\'s opinion that everyone be they Homo or heterosexual, minority
or majority be allowed the same basic rights as their counterparts, because
only then can a population claim to be \"created equal\".
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